Stupid Phrase

"It is what it is". I hate that. I'm hearing it more and more lately. Some things are what they are, but not every damned thing. Most of the time it's "it is what you made it" and "it is what you let it be" or even "it is what what you freaking decided it should be".
I am one who gets very tired of overused phrases and this one is at the top of my list right now.

Other options

I could also:
Join the circus,
Join a cult and then irritate the hell out of them until they throw me out,
Try to get on a reality show
Become a mattress tester and nap all day and get paid for it.
Still thinking.......

What shall it be????

Since my 2nd divorce is now final, I find myself at 54, retired with a part-time job and living a life that many women would envy. I need to do something new. Here are some options I've thought of:
Get a tattoo
Join the Peace Corps
Become a lesbian
Write a book
Find a rich old man to marry

Suggestions?

Is This On???

I haven't blogged in months and months. I think I'm ready to start spouting my opinions again.

Health Care Reform

How can anyone be against Health Care Reform? Please explain it to me. People are dying and going broke because they can't afford insurance. I don't understand the argument against it. Are people just happy with the way things are? Doesn't everyone have a right to affordable medical care? What's the deal here????????

Conversation Between My Mom and her Sister In Law

My mom is almost 87 and her sister in law is in her 70's. They talk on the phone several times a week. I often ask her what they talked about. Here's my version of their conversation:


LaVerne: Hi! What are you doing?

Elsie: Eating a bowl of cereal.

LaVerne: What?

Elsie: CEREAL

LaVerne: Oh, you’re watching a serial?

Elsie: YES

LaVerne: How are you feeling?

Elsie: Oh, not so good. I had a treatment Friday and I’ve had diarrhea and a sore throat since Monday.

LaVerne: Your diarrhea is sore and funny?

Elsie: Yeah.

LaVerne: I saw the new baby Nathan. He’s handsome. Boo calls Josephine “the baby”

Elsie: He’s a hand full? Boo does what?

LaVerne: YES

LaVerne: Well, I guess nobody is going to pick me up and take me to their house.

Elsie: A body was picked up at your house?

LaVerne: YES

Elsie: Well, what can ya do?

LaVerne: That’s for sure.

Elsie to Mary: LaVerne said that Nathan is something and she did something and I can’t make heads or tails of it.

LaVerne to Debby: Elsie said something about a serial and diarrhea. I can’t make heads or tails of it.

My Favorite Songs

These are my all time favorite songs. Enjoy!

1. Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-idDbIfGvw

2. What a Wonderful World - Louie Armstrong http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnRqYMTpXHc

3. The Dance - Garth Brooks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q10cZpF1lE&feature=PlayList&p=A1DF7EA34CA7F691&index=0&playnext=1

4. You Belong to Me - The Duprees http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIEBErVs0fY

5. Wind Beneath My Wings - Gary Morris http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajODwjoyjm8

6. Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLp1uFBal7s

7. No Woman No Cry - Bob Marley http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwDAtLsLGTc

9. You Were Always on My Mind - Willie Nelson http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwDAtLsLGTc

10. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irp8CNj9qBI

11. At This Moment - Billy Very & The Beaters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-S4ryXHCK0

Betty made me watch these shows

We grew up with 3 TV channels (4 if you count PBS). And we had to get up and go change the channel. No remote controls. And the TV had an antenna you had to adjust to get the picture right. Anyway, I have one sister who is 3 years older than I. The TV shows I wanted to watch were mostly half-hour sit-coms. I liked The Monkees, My Mother The Car, My Favorite Martian, The Courtship of Eddie's Father, etc. Betty liked ADVENTURE and WESTERNS!!! Since she was older, I was forced to sit through every Taran movie, every Hercules movie and weekly series such as Rawhide, The Texan, The Wild Wild West, Sugarfoot, Wanted: Dead or Alive, Branded, Fury, The Real McCoys, Bonanza, Maverick, Daniel Boone, Paladin and any other show she deemed worthy. She would sit mezmerized by them and I would fidget and complain. The thing is that I can still sing every word to the theme songs of each of them and tell you who the stars were.
I think she still secretly loves those shows. Betty is a wise, successful, intuitive woman and I bet none of her friends, co-workers or social contacts know that she could tell you the names of every monster that Hercules ever fought or the entire history of Jason and the Argonauts.
Even now, when I amaze my friends with my obscure trivia knowledge of old TV shows they don't know that my usual refrain is "Betty made me watch it".
Ha! This cracks me up.

The Pod Drivers

Something I've noticed when I drive on highways is that every 10 miles or so there seems to be these drivers I call Pod People. They drive in the left lane at the speed limit or slightly below it and refuse to move to the right lane and let other people pass them. That's ok unless there is a right-lane Pod Person who is doing the same thing and drives at the same speed as the left lane Pod Person. Nobody can pass either one of them and they create a Pod of cars that creep along at the same speed for miles and miles.
And just when you think you've managed to overtake one of them, you realize you have to exit for gas or something. Then you find that you've re-entered the Interstate and area once again behind them.
I don't really have a problem with the drivers who KNOW they are going to be going slower. The beat-up pickups with a load of crushed cardboard boxes or an empty trailer or something. They stay in the right lane and let you pass them. It's the nit-noids that are in the left lane just tooling along while everyone else has to maneuver around them while giving them the stink-eye that really get me.

So this is it: MOVE OVER! DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE ENTITLED TO DRIVE WHATEVER SPEED YOU WANT IN THE LEFT LANE! GET A CLUE! DO YOU EVER LOOK IN YOUR REARVIEW MIRROR AND SEE THAT THERE ARE 10 CARS BEHIND YOU????

Dog Food and Toilet Paper

I never absolutely HAVE to go to the grocery store unless I need dog food and toilet paper. These seem to be the 2 things I can't go without. I can make do with all kinds of other stuff: food, cleaning supplies, make-up, beauty supplies, etc. But I can't do without dogfood and toilet paper. IF this dog of mine ever passes away (she's about 20 years old), I will only need TP to survive. YEA!!!!

The $700 rule

I remember many years ago when buying something for $50 was a big purchase. Then it went to $100. Well now it's $700. In the past few months I've priced flat screen TV's, computers and various other things that I thought might be nice to have and everything is $700. It's the new threshhold. Under $1000 but too exepentive to just go out and buy. We recently had a pest control company come out and rodent-proof the house. Price: $700. I had to have new tires for my car. Price: $700. Well, actually $820 but close enough.
I want stuff for $200!!!! I can come up with $200. I can't come up with $700 easily.
Now mind you, I can go to Wal-Mart and get a ton of crap for $200 but when it's something you really want or need, it's going to be $700.
Pay attention and see if you think I'm right about this.

E-Mails That Make Me Cringe

I'm not sure why it bothers me so much that I get e-mails from friends that are links or downloads. I think I'm very impatient and I can read very fast so I don't like to take the time to download something that isn't that interesting anyway. I'd much rather people copy and paste something into an e-mail than to force me to click on a link to find out what they want to share. I have a problem with just deleting something from a friend so I end up saving 8 to 10 e-mails that have downloads on them thinking I will do it later. I mean, turning the speakers on, saving a download and watching an ad before a video just irritate the hell out of me. I also don't want any forwarded e-mails that start with "this is so cute" or "this is precious!". I don't want to scroll down or wait for something to load or be told that if I don't forward this to 10 friends, terrible things will happen to me. Just get to the damned point. Tell me something or ask me something and don't send me this crap!
Ok, that is way too much of a rant. Every now and then I get a very good video or clip of something. It's just that I get too many of them and the majority are just dumb.

BREATHE!

After 8 long years I finally feel like I can breathe again! We have a new President and he's not just "not Bush", he's OBAMA! I realize now that I've had such an edge of anger in me for everything that our government has done during the Bush administration. I didn't vote for him the first time or the second time. I was against the war in Iraq from the beginning. I feel like we've been lied to and cheated every step of the way. We have lost so much credibility that it will take years to recover but I feel that this man who is our new President is the one who can help us take the steps needed to recover.
I love hearing him speak. He is strong and inspiring. Unlike the bumbling, mumbling, lying, chuckling, wimp who liked nothing better than to call himself the Commander in Chief. The Decider.
Well, look who's decided now. WE have.

Farewell Speech: Good Riddance!

I don't know if I can wait 5 more days for a new President. What freaking self-serving gag-me speech Bush gave tonight! The line that got me was the one about how there is good and there is evil:
"But good and evil are present in this world, and between the two there can be no compromise. Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere. Freeing people from oppression and despair is eternally right. This nation must continue to speak out for justice and truth. We must always be willing to act in their defense and to advance the cause of peace."
What??? By murdering the innocent to advance his ideoolgy?
This man is a delusional and mentally ill. Jeez, it just drives me crazy listening to him.

Your Flag Decal (aka: Yellow Ribbon)

John Prine wrote a song many many years ago during the Viet Nam era that I still know all the words to. It's called Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore. I think the song holds as true today as it did then. Decide for yourself:

Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore© John Prine

While digesting Reader's Digest
In the back of a dirty book store,
A plastic flag, with gum on the back,
Fell out on the floor.
Well, I picked it up and I ran outside
Slapped it on my window shield,
And if I could see old Betsy Ross
I'd tell her how good I feel.

Chorus:
But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more.
They're already overcrowded
From your dirty little war.
Now Jesus don't like killin'
No matter what the reason's for,
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more.

Well, I went to the bank this morning
And the cashier he said to me,
"If you join the Christmas club
We'll give you ten of them flags for free.
"Well, I didn't mess around a bit
I took him up on what he said.
And I stuck them stickers all over my car
And one on my wife's forehead.

Repeat Chorus:

Well, I got my window shield so filled
With flags I couldn't see.
So, I ran the car upside a curb
And right into a tree.
By the time they got a doctor down
I was already dead.
And I'll never understand why the man
Standing in the Pearly Gates said...

"But your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more.
We're already overcrowded
From your dirty little war.
Now Jesus don't like killin'
No matter what the reason's for,
And your flag decal won't get you
Into Heaven any more."

The Scourge of Cell Phones

I can't tell you how many times a day I begin a conversation with someone and their cell phone rings and I cease to exist. I become invisible and the person's finger goes in one ear (phone in the other ear) to drown out my voice so they can hear the oh-so-important words of someone on the other end asking "what's going on?"

I wonder why people think that whoever is calling on their cell phone is more important than the person they are talking to in person. How many times have you heard "I gotta take this call" and without waiting for an acknowledgement, they proceed to turn away, walk away and never come back. I have had so many conversations left hanging in the middle and it makes me feel like I am the least important thing in the world to that person. I'm pretty sure the auto company whose robot voice telling them that their vehicle warranty is about to expire is a lot more important that I am.

My kids turn their attention to their text messages constantly. I'm sure that if they find a way to implant the phone in the kids hands, they will definitely have it done.

I'm not so attached to it myself. It's in my purse but if I'm not near my purse, I don't care. If I'm at home, I figure if the person wants to talk to me they can call me on the home phone line. I'm also not digging to the bottom of my purse (if you saw my purse you'd understand why) to find that phone. Oh, and I do NOT chat on the cell when I'm in a store. Why do people do that? I am shopping, dammit! I don't have time to talk!

I have a cell phone too and it's very hard not to answer it at times. I do check to see if it's my mom and maybe an emergency. Aside from that, I'm going to try to ignore the cell phone when I'm talking to someone else.

Yakety Yak

Do you know people who talk so continuously that they don't seem to breathe and never break long enough to allow somebody else to express a thought or ask a question? They seem to fill every break with "and, um, and, um". I feel like I have to raise my hand to indicate that I have something to say or comment on.
I think that's why I prefer e-mail and instant messaging with some people. There is a natural back and forth with it and you don't end up talking over each other.
Another thing is that after a full minute or more of someone talking, my mind tends to wander and I'm not listening anymore. Especially if the subject matter is boring as hell and I'm not interested in the first place. The look of utter boredom and disinterest on my face doesn't seem to register because the speaker is too wrapped up in their monologue to notice.
I find that most telephone conversations go on way too long anyway. I do enjoy talking to people one on one in person, but for some reason I don't like to "chat" on the phone very often. I use the phone as a tool to get a quick answer to a question. If I feel like talking a lot, I usually e-mail, visit in person, or I blog.

On the other end of the spectrum are the people who can't get a thought out verbally to save their lives. They "uh, ummmm, hmmmm and uhhhhhh" forever and you sit there waiting for the precious gem of their thoughts to make it into speech and by the time it does, it's usually not worth hearing. Of these people, I just have to say "SPIT IT OUT AND GET TO THE POINT!"

I think the reason I like certain TV shows and not others is a reflection of this. I can't handle watching a news show that has more than 2 people other than the monitor. The View drives me nuts because they all talk at once. Some of the news shows are like that too. I like Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow because they speak clearly and they get to the point and they don't belabor a point too long.

Chop, chop, get to the point and move on.

Family Cookbook

I found this web site called www.tastebook.com. It's really cool. You can make your own cookbook, spiral bound with laminated pages and you can add pictures. I starting putting one together for our family and I have 45 recipes so far. I'm waiting for the rest of the family to give me some of their recipes. What's nice about it is that everything will be in one book, not those little sheets of paper stuck here and there that you can never find when you need them.
This is going to be a no-frills cookbook. No oddball spices or cooking methods. Nothing exotic or complicated.
It will contain a lot of butter, sugar and cool whip. I've been having a lot of fun with it and can't wait till it's finished. I'm having a hard time finding pictures of the dishes online so I'll probably have to take my own photos of them. I like cookbooks with PICTURES. If it works out well, there might be a Volume II.
I want to add some personal notes from the family too. I'm hoping this will be a book that will be handed down to our grandchildren. :)

Thanksgiving's Coming!

I love Thanksgiving. It comes around every year in November which is one of the best months of the year in Austin. Nice and cool after the long hot summer. We've been having Thanksgiving Dinner at our house for the past 10 years. We host between 16 and 25 family members because we have the big dining room and big table that almost everyone can sit around. It starts the night before with the preparation of the turkey and dressing. Jack and I do the turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes and a vegetable with the help of the kids. Everyone else brings something. Mama always makes the gravy. her pineapple cake and the cranberry salad and Aunt LaVerne brings her famous sweet rice. Amy brings pies and Debby brings a salad. It's such a wonderful day because the house takes on that fantastic smell of good food cooking, the sound of laughter and talking and general good will. They family usually arrives around 10:00am and we visit, eat and watch football and then have all of the wonderful desserts and coffee until around 3:00 when everyone is tired and wants to go home. Then we still have time for a nice nap followed by the mandatory turkey sandwich on white bread with Miracle Whip and Ruffles. The next day we get to eat leftovers. By Saturday, we're all ready for some spicy Mexican Food. The great thing is that it's just a day to be together, unlike Christmas which is filled with stress and gifts and lasts for freakin' EVER. The build-up is way too much for the actual event. One of these years we're just going to skip Christmas if the kids will let us.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to next Thursday, the best day of the year.

No Fear

If you've ever watched Fox News for even a short time (which I rarely do, but I sometimes need to know what the neo-cons are saying), you should watch for the number of times they say the word "Fear".
I refuse to live my life in fear. Fear of terrorism, economic ruin, liberals, gays, etc.
I think the Repubican Party has moved from being a fiscally and governmentally conservative party to the party of FEAR. They try to scare the crap out of us at every turn.
I have a hard time understanding how anyone would want to live that way. If we face another attack we will have to deal with it as we have always done. But fear of things like gay marriage while asserting their "right" to buy guns is just ridiculous. I sure feel a lot less threatened by having a homosexual pointed at me than I do with having a gun pointed at me.
I think the only thing I really fear is the super-conservative evangelical types who would have us all drink the kool-ade while they do all kinds of horrible things behind closed doors. If there is evil in this world, and there is, it is more often perpetrated in the name of religion than in any other thing.
So NO FEAR is what I will go with.